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Phd life

academic  ·  motivation  ·  research
Get Comfortable with not knowing

The assumption is that a PhD candidate is very knowledgeable. Probably knows everything about everything. As a matter of fact, to qualify for a PhD placement in any institution in the world, you need to present proof of excellence by exhibiting your previous degrees.

Here is the shocker! When you start this journey, it’s like an unveiling occurs, presenting things you do not know. The more you read and research, the more you realise that you do not know many things. And for some, this is where their imposter syndrome starts. You begin to question whether you deserved all the previous degrees you ever received. You begin to ask yourself how you even came this far with all the things you don’t know.

I know this because I have been there, and I am not completely over it if I am honest. Like you, I was not told that PhD involves stepping into the unknown, and for you to succeed in this journey, you need to be comfortable with not knowing. PhD is a synonym for unchartered territory. I mean unchartered by you like they say there is no new research. You need to be comfortable with the realisation that there is a lot you don’t know. 

For some of us, it is strange to respond to a question with ‘I don’t know’. Let me tell you this, you gonna be making lots of such statements in your journey. That’s why you need to get comfortable with not knowing for you to channel your energy to know what you don’t know.

The beauty in this is that not knowing is the gateway to learning. I always tell my undergraduate students that if they knew what I had to teach them, they wouldn’t be in my class. Therefore, they should be comfortable with getting a few answers wrong in class. 

For us PhD candidates, it’s not easy to get comfortable with getting answers wrong because our bachelors and masters degrees is a testament to how knowledgeable we are. Well, guess what, we don’t know it all. There is still so much more to learn, and that’s why there is something called a PhD. 

If we can overcome the fear of not knowing, then we can progress in the journey whilst being conscious of the fact that a PhD research opens different doors that present new knowledge to be gained. So be comfortable to step in the door and know something new.

March 13, 2021

Letter  ·  motivation  ·  survival guide
It’s Ok

It’s ok that the year began and you didn’t know how to put your plans together. That shouldn’t stop you from putting together your research plan for the year. Planning is a compass; give us direction of where to and how to channel our resources to achieve something. Writing the plans down, makes it more real hence, bringing about an increased desire to see it come to pass.

Yes, 2021 has started and it is not slowing down for anyone, not even you and it’s okay to have that knowledge no matter how frightening the realisation is to you. 

It’s ok that your plans are so elaborate and you don’t know how you want to go about achieving them. The beauty of such plans is that every effort counts. Small achievements go a long way in the fulfilment of the elaborate plan.

It’s ok that you haven’t been able to attack 2021 head-on with your research taking off in full force like everyone else. People move at a different pace. Find yours, be consistent with it and you will see results. Don’t forget productive is relative.

It’s ok to just ease into the year. Gradual progress is still progress. Be consistent in progressing gradually. 

And it’s ok to feel like the year has started running so fast again while your research is yet to pick up pace. Keep at it! Take time today to build on yesterday’s effort and you will be awed by the results. 

It’s ok to feel how you feel just don’t dwell on the feeling.

Dear PhD Self, I just want to remind you that you are not alone in this journey.

Love,

Vicky

February 17, 2021

academic  ·  survival guide
Planning is a Compass

Planning is half the job done.

Planning your PhD is half your PhD done and if might I add that you are going to spend half your PhD time planning your PhD. It might feel like the time you invest planning is a waste but its not. Note that I used the word invest because, return is expected on an investment. You get the dividend from time by being more productive.

Yeah, you get the message! Planning requires time. It takes time to plan. This was a reason I didn’t embrace it early in life. I felt instead of spending so much time planning what I want to do why don’t I just go ahead and do it. Big mistake. And I will tell you why.

  1. Planning helps you keep track: It helps you know what you have accomplished and what you have left to do. You need to spend time planning, so you don’t have to waste time doing nothing. More so, it helps you avoid doing the same thing twice.
  2. It clears up space in your head: When you plan, you have a direction of what you want to do. It is like a compass that leads you therefore, you go about your day with a purpose and a sense of direction.
  3. Planning helps you organize your priorities: With planning, you can organize your priorities according to urgency and importance. This will ensure that you do not spend a lot of your time on less important things. Note, that some things are important but not urgent while some other things can be urgent but not important. What I am saying in a nutshell is that not all important activities are urgent. Planning ensures that you channel your resources to the right activity per time.

Not all planning are effective. To effectively, one has to determine where they are presently and where they intend to go. I will dive further into planning effectively in my next post. You can join my email list below so you don’t miss it. I look forward to seeing your contributions/ suggestions to this post in the comments.

Photo credit: Daniel Foster on flickr

PS: Pictures below are from my planner.

My typical planner
Me striking off completed tasks. Some days are more productive than the others but that is ok.

November 23, 2020

academic  ·  survival guide
Mistakes I have made since PhD journey

Like everyone else, I am not perfect. I have made mistakes since starting this journey and I know I will still make more later on. Mistakes are not a testament of how irresponsible I am but it also goes to show that I am human as every other person. Let one who is without mistakes be the first to cast stones.

I don’t consider mistakes as a bad thing, its not taking responsibility  and owning up to it that can be bad. Here is me owning up to mine and sharing it with you with the hope that you can avoid making the same if you haven’t yet. But if you have made the same mistakes then let’s toast to makes made on the journey to PhD (Cheers!!).

  1. Not Preparing: It is high time I admitted that I wasn’t prepared for this PhD. I can’t differentiate between not preparing for what to expect and not preparing for the journey at all. I think it is both. I didn’t know what to expect. I just went right from Master to PhD thinking it will be the same process but guess what it is not the same. Imagine my surprise.
  2. Not enough research:  I did not do enough research on what it means to do a PhD. The only thing I researched about was the schools I would like to go for the program but not the program itself. I really set myself up in this case. I only searched after being on the program and realized there were resources out there that could help me out if only I had searched.
  3. Not Planning: is it any surprise that I did not plan? I mean how do I plan for something I was not prepared for. I was not prepared so I couldn’t plan. If I had made plans based on the insufficient information I had, the plan would have flopped right from the onset.
  4. Listening to People: Don’t get the wrong idea listening to people is good especially people who have achieved the same thing you are aiming to achieve. I am talking of other PhD graduates, your mentors etc. However, listen for the complete information. I cannot stress that enough. Make sure you are not listening to only the things you want to hear. This is a big mistake, I know that because I made it already. I listened to people tell me why getting a PhD is important, how it can enhance my career, but I didn’t listen for what it will entail to be a successful PhD graduate. The extra endurance, perseverance I needed to develop or the imposter syndrome I would have to deal with.
  5. Thinking PhD was like other degrees I have done: I should have known that it was the highest academic degree for a reason but somehow I missed that point. I thought it had the same requirement as other degrees. When I say requirement. I don’t mean academic requirement. I mean what PhD requires of you as a person. You have to know what it means to  be committed and consistent before you start this journey. I found out about this on the journey.
  6. Thinking PhD was a Sprint: I knew it would be a journey but I though it was a Sprint. PhD is NOT a Sprint its a marathon. I started the race like it was a sprint but is not. Marathon is about perseverance, endurance and patience. And the combination that is bad for a sprint race. That’s to tell you I was a good athlete running the wrong race which makes me a terrible athlete.
  7. Not Knowing what I would have to give: I entered the PhD program as a full time lecturer and full time student. I didn’t know PhD would require my physical health and mental health. No sooner had I started the program, I broke down terribly. I spent two weeks in the hospital. I couldn’t believe it. Please don’t make the same mistake. You need to take care of your health both mentally and physically.

Although there is a saying that ‘you learn from experience‘. However, it doesn’t have to be your experience. There are some things you can learn from others’ experience which saves you time to make new experiences.

The question you might be asking having read this is ‘What next after making these mistakes?’ I will answer this in my next blog post. Stay tuned.

Feel free to share the post. I look forward reading your contributions in the comments.

Photo credit: withbeautiful on flickr

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November 5, 2020

not today
academic  ·  motivation  ·  survival guide
Some days are just not for PhD Writing

Last week I went to the library to get some work done in a less distracting environment. However, I couldn’t get any job done. You should suspect that my going to the library meant it was serious business for me.

One of my new semester goals is to visit the library more often. Even though I recognise that there are lots of online resources in terms of up-to-date journal access, I acknowledge that the library has a lot of resources that help one with understanding the theoretical and fundamental issues one intends to address in the cause of a PhD journey.

So I went to the library to use the resources and get a chunk of work done but guess what? I couldn’t do anything! The words were not flowing coherently. It was taking me a longer time to understand the article I was trying to read. Mind you, this was the early hours of the day (well not so early), between 10 am to 12 pm. The point is that this was the first intellectual work I was doing for the day, but I was not making any headway.

After trying and trying to get into my flow, you know what I did? I stopped trying. I closed everything that had to do with PhD and do something else unrelated to academics. This is not my first time experiencing a day like this, but this is the first time I am writing about it

I bet you have experienced some days like this. If you have, you should know that it’s not just you and the fault is not with you. Some days are just not for writing. Some days, you get into the flow effortlessly, other days it is just a struggle. Don’t think too hard about it, get away from the system for a little bit. Probably have a chat with a friend, read a book not related to academics or talk a walk or even journal.

It could be that your mind just needs a day to cool off and sometimes it could require more than a day but don’t take too many days off as it becomes harder to get back into the flow.

Just remember that some days are not just for academic writing so that you can be less hard on yourself for not getting it right. It is not you. Today is just not the day. Sometimes it’s just that simple.

Photo credit: mayankbhogal on flickr
October 5, 2020

academic  ·  survival guide  ·  Writing
Shutting out the noise in your head (Part 2)

In the previous post I was able to bring your attention to the noise in the head that needs to be shut off. Now that we are aware of it and acknowledge its existence, what do we do about it? Like I have a said before, I don’t claim to have all the answers as a matter of fact it, is my search or answers that led brought about this PhD journey. However, I can tell what I do to shut off my inside noise hoping that the technique will work for you as well. Here goes;

  1. Look inward: Settle down and try to put a name to what you are feeling. Are you being anxious, nervous, sad or worried? Putting a name to it is the first step to tackling what is causing the noise in your head and making your mind drift.
  2. Take a break:  Don’t blame all your lack of concentration on distraction, sometimes, you can’t concentrate because your body is trying to communicate with you to get a much needed rest. Take a break, in no time the noise will reduce.
  3. Do something else: For some of us that can’t sit still without doing anything, do something else that does not involve your thesis. Do something that helps you relax like taking a walk, look out the window notice the green around you (if you are surrounded by vegetation like I am) or lay down. Rest your head on the pillow or on your desk but step away from the activity you can’t seem to focus on doing and come back to much later.
  4. Pray: As a Christian, I recognize the place of prayer. From my bible study in the life of King David, I realized that David prayed his thoughts. He didn’t just confront God about his problems, he spoke to God about his thoughts. This helps me a lot. When the noise is too much and my head seems in disarray, I just start talking to God and He is the giver of peace. And handing everything over to him, peace and serenity saturates me. You should try it.

This is all the methods I use, if this post was helpful, don’t forget to like and share it. And if I missed anything don’t forget to reach out.

September 6, 2020

Letter  ·  motivation
Dear PhD Self,

There’s nothing stopping you but YOU.

We are probably used to hearing this quote from our friends and family. I am almost certain that everyone has come across this quote on Instagram or Twitter at least once a week. Just that it can be written in different ways however, the message is the same that Nothing has the power to stop you but you.

I have come across this quote a lot but it was until on Tuesday morning that I fully understood what it meant while listening to the audiobook ‘The Achievement Habit: Stop wishing, Start doing and Take command of your life by Bernard Roth on Scribd app.

The author mentioned that people can say negative things about you, they can think about it, sometimes even tell you to your face that ‘You are in over your head’, ‘You are not enough’, ‘You can’t’ etc. No matter it is they say about you, no one takes an action but you.

It dawned on me that I have been taking action against myself and so have many others. This is what I realised that when we are being told negative things is that we internalise what is being said, believe it and unconsciously act accordingly and end up acting against ourselves.

Think about it, people actually have a right to their opinion and freedom of speech but they can not take the action on our behalf. The action is on you. I happen to love sport, football in particular. In football, on some occasions although, a player can score a goal against his/her own team. It is absurd but it happens.

While I meditated on ‘Nothing is capable of stopping but me’, I realised that I have been scoring a touchdown against myself. I took the ball from the opponent and instead of heading to the opponent goal post, I headed to my goal post and scored. This is what happens every time I internalise, the negative opinion of people that I am in over my head in this PhD journey or how I am not able to complete this PhD.

You bet I was angry when I realised what I have been doing to myself. I purposed in my heart right there and then that NO MORE. In all honesty, there can be a lot of negative words and opinions flying around for a PhD student. I already think in my head that I am in over my head by doing this PhD I don’t need any other person repeating it to me.

Here is the good news, Words can’t stop you, action will. What action are you deciding to take today?

Love,

Vicky

September 3, 2020

academic  ·  awareness  ·  Writing
Shutting out the noise in your head (Part 1)

Noise according to oxford dictionary is a sound especially loud and unpleasant or that causes disturbance. It could a good music may be playing but if the song is unwelcome at the time then, it is noise. The description matches the noise we are used to, I call it the noise on the outside. I use that term because I recognize that there is noise that happens on the inside, the noise in our minds.

This kind of noise is particularly annoying to me because there is no turn off switch. For the noise on the outside, you can turn it off quite easily. For instance, if you are in a noisy environment, you can put on a headset to counter the source of the noise or you can leave the place.

However, the noise in the mind is so tricky, sometimes you won’t even know that its there. Inside noise handicaps you, cuts your productivity flow and causes your thoughts to be incoherent whether you are a PhD student or not. It simple terms, it is crippling to your mental health and the worse part is that you might not recognize its effect on your mental health until the damage has been done.

I mean how do you fight an enemy you can’t see?

I don’t claim to be an expert in mental health however, I will share how I detect that there is noise in my mind as it might suggest to you things to pay attention as regards inside noise.

  1. I can’t explain how I feel. This might sound like an emotional issue because it has to do with feelings but it’s not. If one is in a stable mental space, you should be able to tell if you are excited, overwhelmed, sad, angry or hurt but when you can’t place a name to what you feel there is high tendency that there is noise in your mind.
  2. I lose concentration. This is like a very obvious sign but for me, I can lose concentration when I am hungry or tired which is not the same as inside noise. So how do I tell the difference? Well… If I lose concentration and I have no desire to eat or rest then I know that I am losing concentration as a result of noise in my head.
  3. I am all over the place. This is the most obvious sign for me and the last sign to manifest mostly after damage has been done. At this point, I experience lack of concentration combined with restless. I can’t sit still, my thoughts are in shambles, I am neither here nor there. I maybe at my work station at school but my mind is not there. I think of going home but I don’t think it will help either.

Does any of these signs relate to you? If I am missing some, tell me in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you.

Watch out for the second part of this post which addresses what to do about it.

Photo credit: pedroalves on flickr
September 1, 2020

academic  ·  Writing
Writing maybe be hard but… (Part 2)

In my last blog post (not the letters), I shared how writing may be hard but can as well be fun. I also promised to share writing tools that can be used to make academic writing less hard.

Let me point out here that there are a lot of writing tools out there which can be overwhelming to try them all out. Sometimes, you might end up trying a new writing tool all the time and never actually write something.

I suggest that once, you try one and you are comfortable with it, stick to it. If you try something new and it does not work for you, there is no crime in dropping it and going back to what worked for you. I use various writing tools for different purposes which I will be sharing and why.

The basic tools needed to make academic writing seamless are;

  • Word processors: These are packages that allow you to write your thesis. Examples are Microsoft Word, Latex, Microsoft OneNote, Google doc, Evernote etc. I prefer to use Microsoft word to write my these because of the Mendeley plugin which enables me to cite articles as I write. I use Onenote to draft write up I want to post like this blog post. Although, I prefer google docs when I am working with people on an article.

  • Word and Grammar Checker: These are that keep you in check in terms of sentence structure for the whole write up. Examples are; Grammarly, Thesaurus, Microsoft Spelling & Grammar.

  • Referencing tools: For academic write up, you know citation is very important and that is why these tools come in handy. My favourite is Mendeley. It has offline feature, it synchronises across all devices and it is FREE! Education is expensive, as a PhD there are a lot of things to do with money. This is one less thing I don’t need money for.

This is me and like this is my case. What are your favourite writing tools? And let me know what I missed in the comment.

August 31, 2020

Sassy Professor
academic  ·  motivation
My Thesis, My Way

It is a common fact that PhD journey can be depressing, stressful and at some point putting mental and emotional health at risk. The PhD journey can be marked by days of wondering why you are on the program and days of disappointments. While the struggles to get a PhD may look endless and increasingly overwhelming, there are also days that you are glad you are on this journey.

These days I am referring to, are days where all the items on your to-do lists get striked off as complete, days that the chapter you have been writing on gets completed. I mean days that your supervisor tells you ‘good job’, ‘well done’ and the likes, days where you finally add a thousand words to your thesis or write more than two pages in under two hours. You got to admit that those days make the struggles of the journey bearable.

My thesis, my way is about having more of the fun days in course of your PhD journey. You deciding to have more of those days, is the first step in achieving it. As much as majority of circumstances we face in the course of the PhD journey is beyond our control, this choice we have control over this decision. You might be thinking after this choice what next?

Here’s what’s next, work with the decision. For instance, to successfully write more than two pages in 2 hours means you have been putting in the effort everyday even if it meant writing a paragraph on certain days. You don’t give up writing on any day because yesterday’s write up didn’t go as planned. Consistency is very essential.

You have to Plan. You just have to. I don’t know how someone can go through this journey without planning. Or one day, you wake up and realise that you cannot place your finger on what you achieved in the whole of year two. You need to plan because time is not waiting, it keeps ticking. You can have a PhD planner separate from your normal to-do list. Please do not have lofty plans. Start by planning for what you want to achieve in a semester, then break it to monthly plans, then break it to weekly plans, then finally, break it into daily ‘to-do list’.

Another vital requirement of having ‘Your thesis, your way’ is Motivation. I am not talking about motivation from a motivational speaker. I am talking of motivation from no one else but yourself. Learn how to motivate yourself. There are some days that you think your supervisor is lucifer, your coursemates are no-gooders and the thesis is just here to show the world how much of a failure you are (which is absolutely incorrect). On these days the motivation your have giving yourself will preserve your mental health.

Finally, give yourself a break. Yeah, your read right. PhD is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Therefore, to avoid burn out, learn how to treat yourself. There will be no Phd journey if you are not here to embark on it. You are the first requirement for a PhD. Treat yourself right, take breaks, assign day off for yourself. Rest makes you more productive. Don’t use the day off to judge yourself. That will just lead to effort in futility.

I don’t know about you but I intend to have a purposeful phd journey by doing my thesis my way.

April 12, 2020

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